One’s intuition is a powerful tool. All day today, and last week, well for the past 2-3 weeks, I’ve been struggling with the idea of going back to MN. Not to stay, but just to take my mother back so she can do whatever she needs to do (she came to FL with my family and me when we moved here about a month ago).
I knew she was talking about going back, which was (and still is) completely fine. We tried to set the date a few times to get on the plane and take that three hour journey in the sky. Every time we’ve tried, things just wouldn’t work out as planned.
Tomorrow (Tuesday) we were determined this is the day to go back, I can work on a few things back in MN myself, okay let’s go!
All day today, I simply did NOT want to go. I didn’t want to go so bad that I was getting sad and frustrated. I’ve been tense, worried, and just straight up did not want to go. I was starting to feel like a spoiled brat. I might as well have poked my lips out, frowning with my arms folded across my chest, stomping and screaming, “I’M NOT GOING, AND YOU CAN’T MAKE ME!!” as I storm off to my bedroom. Everything in me, felt like “that girl”. But the real me just dreaded the day and hours passing by. Something just didn’t feel right, and I couldn’t put my finger on it.
With that, I thought I was making this up, like this is all in my head, maybe I just don’t want my mother to go back, maybe I’m overreacting, maybe I’m just delusional as I can probably use about three days of sleep.
Nevertheless, I proceeded with the day: walked to the grocery store, made breakfast for my family, worked on my beauty business, and contemplated telling my mother that I simply don’t want to go back tomorrow.
Quick back story: My mother has lived in MN for my entire life, and I’m 34 years old. The only time she has been out of town would have been to Iowa (we drove) to see my God-sister graduate college last year. Aside from that, “out of town” for my mother meant driving to the next city 20 miles away. From what my mother tells me, she never really liked traveling, for whatever reason. So anyway, when she agreed to come with to Florida, my heart jumped, danced and celebrated with the most exciting tune!… That is until we had to drive that distance for about 23 straight hours, with “here and there” stops for gasoline, bathroom breaks, and all of the snacks that we could handle. Sleeping was not an option.
So all of that above made me think that I was completely making up a conclusion of just not wanting my mother to go back to MN. I tried to pack my luggage multiple times today, well… I should be clear… I THOUGHT about packing my bag along with my daughter’s multiple times today.
It wasn’t until later this evening that I decided to ask God for something true and real.
– First of all, I’m not religious, I’m spiritual.
– Second, talking to God for me means really honing in on that gut feeling versus just an emotion.
So when I say I asked God for help, I wanted to make sure I wasn’t just emotional. The strange part is that I love airplanes, it’s my preferred way of traveling distances. I’ll take a flight versus a road trip any day. And you can forget about asking me to be on anyone’s railroad.
My purpose for asking God, or my higher being for guidance, was all spur of the moment – right out of the blue – not planned at all. But at this point, I was desperate as I still didn’t know how to say, I DON’T WANT TO GO.
So what did I FEEL that made me stay in FL to write this passage tonight, versus me being asleep in the bed, feeling nauseated awaiting for the alarm to wake me to my morning routine??
Immediately after asking God for guidance on my emotion, I asked God this simple thing:
“God, I’m not afraid of flying or planes, so what am I feeling? Light or Heavy for tomorrow’s flight?”
What the heck is “light or heavy” you might wonder? It’s what I learned to do that helps my body produce a response or gut feeling much quicker. Sounds crazy? Perhaps. But who cares, that’s all in the opinion of the reader or receiver of this message.
The most amazing thing happened literally within seconds of me asking for this guidance…
– I felt a strong heaviness in the core of my gut (which felt like an instant sickness)… but then I felt my air conditioner come on and then stop like either someone was blowing on me or walking past me (and I’m in the room by myself!), and simultaneously with that experience my Periscope notification on my phone went off. And then it was instant light and a freeing feeling.
Tell you what… that made me march myself right into my mother’s room and say, “Tomorrow is not a good day to fly.”
I thought she was going to be mad at me… but ummm… she CONFIRMED my feeling with her own similar intuition!
I couldn’t have avoided this whole day of this feeling if she wouldn’t have just told me! LOL… But the part to take into consideration is that sometimes, more often than not, we MUST come to our own conclusion. Someone telling us their opinion of what feels right or wrong for us is NEVER the way to proceed with life. No one can make up your mind for you, OR tell you what you should or should not be doing.
Some may not believe in God/Higher Powers/Energy Sources/etc… But there’s just some things that cannot be explained without sounding “crazy”.
We all have a feeling smack dab in the core of our guts, behind all of the meaty tissue, but directly connected with the unconscious mind. If we practice listening to it, it will never steer you in the wrong direction. The easiest way to find it and practice with it is to learn to love and enjoy silence. Whenever you can get away without distractions, no phones, laptops, significant others, kids, food, etc… practice “hearing your silence”… that’s when you’ll learn to simply ask yourself questions and FEEL how your body reacts.
Many times, in “wrong decisions” our bodies will tend to tense up, feel some kind of anxiety (chest tightens, heart acceleration, sweating immediately)… With practice, this will started to be better determined and deciphered as sometimes it can be confused with just excitement… THAT’S where PRACTICING hearing your silence comes in handy where you can make those decisions where YOU know your body’s reaction, a bad feeling versus excitement. Over time, no one will be able to tell you WHEN you’ll start to feel your sensations and determine it’s purpose. But when it happens, you will definitely know, and it’s definitely worth every minute, hour, year, or decade spent honing in on concentrating on your intuition.
Disclaimer: None of this is scientifically proven in this post. Everything is based on my own experiences after 29 years of practice. This is something that I feel like I was born into, something that seemed more relevant in my life, even more than facts. This post is not to make you change your habits and adopt mine; but more increase your cognition process.